Posts tagged ‘dogs’

Jun 21

The Vet’s Office: Waiting Room or Dog Park?

I love going to the doctor. It’s my absolute favorite place to meet new friends.

I especially like meeting new friends at the doctor’s when I feel really sick or have a painful injury. I like to shove the icky, hurty part of my body in stranger’s faces, so they’ll poke at it, while slapping me on the back.

Sometimes I’m just there for an annual check up and I feel fine physically, but I’m nervous. I’m worried that I’m going to sit in the waiting room all day and be late for work. I’m anxious that I’m going to get a mean doctor that will pinch me and talk to me about my BMI again.

When I’m really stressed, that’s when I like to look around to see if there are any people I can make friends with in the waiting room. And when I feel this way, there’s nothing I enjoy more than when other patients run up to me and ask me to do a few Zumba moves with them before it’s my turn to see the doctor.

Yep, I love being sick and nervous, in a tiny space, with no way out, and meeting new friends at the same time.

And see that quiet lady in the corner who’s nervously eating a 100 calorie pack of almonds and trying not to make eye contact with me? I asked her to arm wrestle while I was waiting to pay my bill, but she said “No thank you”. The nerve!

So you know what I did? I turned to the receptionist and I said, in my best stage whisper, “Some people are so MEAN. I guess that patient’s not friendly, huh?” I sure showed her how rude she was for telling me no.

SCRREEEEECH! Hold the phone. This is bananaballs, right? No one wants to do group aerobics in the waiting room at the doctor’s. No one goes to the doctor’s to meet a new BFF.

So why are so many people doing this with their dogs in the waiting room at the vet’s office? If there’s ever a place where dogs need space from each other and the dog owners need to ask permission before their dog approaches another, it’s the vet’s office.

Seriously, why do I have to even explain this? But I do, because this happens constantly, every day, to DINOS owners at the vet.

Lots and lots of people seem to think that socializing at the vet is a good thing and dogs who can’t do that are “bad dogs”. Is it me, or do we have some totally out of whack expectations for dogs when they’re at the vet?

Dogs at the vet are sick, injured, anxious, stressed, or just plain don’t wanna play. Almost every dog at the vet is a DINOS (at least temporarily). It’s not the dog park. It’s a doctor’s office for dogs (and other small animals stuck in their carriers).

Next time you’re at the vet, keep in mind how much you would hate it if every time you went to the doctor’s office, you had to deal with a parade of “friendly” people who invaded your space, touching and poking at you, and talking non-stop. You would hate it and rightly so.

Common sense rules for the vet:

Keep your dog on leash when entering, leaving, waiting, and paying. That’s everything except the exam room.

Lock your flexi-leads. Don’t let dogs wander around, scaring cats and upsetting other dogs.

Ask permission before you allow your dog to approach another dog.

If they say “No”, just accept it.

Don’t call the other dog owner or the dog “mean”.

Don’t passive aggressively whisper about how “unfriendly” that other dog is.

News flash: When you do that, YOU’RE THE MEAN ONE. People go home and cry about how mean you were to them and their struggling dog.

To the staff at the vet’s office: please require and enforce the rule that all dogs must be on leash. Require that all small animals be secured in carriers. Stand up for your clients when other’s treat them badly by reminding everyone that the waiting room is not a dog park and there are sick, injured, and stressed pets in the room – they have a right to their personal space. It’s just safer that way.

And a final note to DINOS families: If you can, wait outside or in the car with your dogs. Ask the staff to let you know when a room is ready, then go directly into the exam room. Ask if there is a back entrance (there usually is) that you can use, so you can avoid the waiting room entirely. Let the staff know ahead of time that your dog needs space – there may be a particular time of the day when it’s slow and you’re less likely to run into crowds.

Fair enough, right? We can do it folks. Respect, compassion, manners – we’ve got that.

Jun 20

16 Comments

That’s Cool Dog.

It’s really hot in Maine today, which means it’s scorching in the rest of the country. I’m worried that everyone south of New Hampshire is bursting into flames as I write this.

So for all of you with hot dogs out there, here’s a few ideas to keep them cool today (if you can’t smuggle them into a movie theater for an afternoon of popcorn and ice-cold air conditioning):

Kool Collar

Fill this collar with ice and keep your dog’s body temp down while you’re out in the sun or stuck inside a stuffy apartment. Yes, you can wear one too.

Hurtta Cooling Coat

Soak this coat in cold water, wring it out, then put it on your dog. Keeps them cool as the water evaporates and it protects them from the sun. RuffWear also makes a similar coat.

Kool Dogz Ice Treat Maker

Keep your dog busy and cool for hours with this hunk o’ ice and toys. Perfect for shelter dogs in outdoor kennels. You can also make one with stuff around the house. Learn how from Animal Farm Foundation here.

Kiddie Pool

Boogie learned how to swim in a lake last summer, but we can’t get to a lake most days. For M-F swims, I’m all about the kiddie pool. Low tech. High fun.

Other low-tech ideas:

Freeze chicken or beef broth in ice cube trays for a tasty, cold treat. Put a cold, wet bandanna around your dog’s neck. Put some green beans or sweet potato slices in the freezer for a frozen snack. Feed them dinner from a frozen Kong. Read the Polar Express out loud to them.

What are some of your favorite ways to keep your dogs cool on hot summer days? Do tell!

Jun 6

5 Comments

Speaking Dog with Photo Lab

I recently got a chance to contribute to a blog series about learning to “speak dog” hosted by my friends over at Photo Lab.

Here’s a little sneak peek of my guest blog, plus the fabulous photo they created to go with my post. You can read the rest over on their blog Tails from the Lab!

I’ve been dog walking for almost ten years…day after day, as I walk my pals, I encounter a real problem for us: many well-meaning people have no control over their dogs (or themselves). People allow their dogs to drag them across the street, forcing nose-to-nose greetings with strange dogs. Or they ignore leash laws and let their dogs run loose in designated on-leash areas.

When I encounter these scenarios I feel like I’m robbed of my ability to do what’s best for the dogs I’m walking. The dogs are telling me what they need – space – but I can’t always get it for them, because people aren’t respecting our boundaries.

Read the whole post HERE.

May 30

14 Comments

DINOS in the House

So things are going to be a wee bit quiet in the land of dog walking and DINOS-loving for the next week or so. The gang and I are up to our wet noses in the insanity that is house hunting. Things are percolating with one house in particular – I don’t wanna say too much, since it’s a sure jinx.

Things have been a *wee* bit busy. Like I’m under siege.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you all is that every time I look at a house, I do it with DINOS in mind. How much space will my dogs have to run? How far away are the nearest neighbors? How much time should I spend sitting in my car, stalking this house, to see if there are loose dogs that run around these parts?

Yes, please.

As soon as things chill out, I’ll share how much living with DINOS (both my own and the dogs I walk) has impacted my home search and maybe we’ll spend some quality time talking about fences. Because I. can. not. wait. to have a fenced in yard. Gimme gimme.

Happy dog walking everyone!

May 23

31 Comments

Dog Bite Prevention Week: How to Safely Interact with Humans

Dog Bite Prevention Week is a favorite of mine – every year there’s a ton of great advice floating through the interwebs.

Thanks to trainers, vets, and other dog pros, we know how to prevent dog bites: understand dog body language, manage dogs properly, socialize and train them, teach kids how to safely interact with dogs, don’t chain them in your backyard or let them roam unsupervised. Got it.

Here’s one more from me: Get fluent in human body language and communication.

Nothing for nothing, but is anyone else stunned at how often fellow humans completely ignore or miss huge, obvious cues from other humans who are trying to communicate on behalf of their dogs?

You know, the ones that are saying, “Please don’t come any closer!”

So, how come so many of us keep getting closer?

I feel like the dogs would benefit if we humans got better at communicating with each other. In that spirit, here’s my contribution to Dog Bite Prevention Week 2012.

How To Safely Interact with Humans and Their Dogs

Right there! Do you see it? It’s a human walking their dog.

In order to approach them safely, you must observe. Before you or your dog gets closer, let’s look at the human:

What can you tell from their body language and facial expressions?

Start with the eyes. Are they darting back and forth, looking for a way to escape? Are the human’s eyebrows furrowed and pinched? You’re witnessing signs of stress. Do not ignore them.

Scan their bodies and look at their hands. A human that is not comfortable being approached by a stranger will often raise one or both hands towards you. If you see body language such as an outstretched hand, palm towards you, this is a clear signal to stop! Do not continue approaching.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevensnodgrass/3570379993/sizes/o/in/photostream/

credit: stevensnodgrass

Next, focus on their mouth. Is it open? Are sounds coming out? It is not unusual for a human who is feeling trapped to say: “Call your dog” or “My dog needs space.”

Occasionally, humans caught by surprise might have a hard time using their words. In that case, screams, shrieks, and expletives might be used.

Do not ignore these verbal warnings. Do not argue with the human. Do not tell them they are wrong and that it is ok for you to approach them because “All dogs love me” or “It’s ok, my dog is friendly“.

Listen to the exact words the human uses. This is a clear warning.

If you’re still not sure if you should approach, look closely at their feet. Are their feet facing towards you or have they turned to sprint in the opposite direction? When a human is running away from you, they are clearly signalling that they do not want to hang out.

Do not follow them across the street. This is not a game of chase.

In some cases, it can be difficult to read a human’s body language because it is so subtle. But the signs are always there, even if we don’t recognize them right away.

For example: you spot a human standing off to the side of a walking path. They may look relaxed, but study them at a bit closer. Are they standing in front of their dog? Are they giving their dog treats as you pass? These are signs that the human is busy working with their dog.

Tip: When someone sees you and then turns away from you, they’re just not that into meeting you.

But what if the human is hiding, you ask? Should I approach them then?

If you spot a human hiding behind a tree, car, or telephone pole. Do not make eye contact. Continue walking. Pretend that you do not see them and their dog. This human is cornered and making one last attempt to escape. If you approach you will be forcing them into a situation where they might feel trapped and bite you. Keep moving.

This person is not into you.

Sometimes we can’t help but have an encounter with humans and their dogs. If that happens to you, please do the following:

Do not flail your arms or shout.

Control your dog, so that they cannot approach them.

In a calm voice, always ask: “Can we meet your dog?” or “Is it ok if I say hello?”

Wait for the human to respond.

If they say no, do not force the situation. The human has clearly expressed a desire to be left alone. Do not ignore these signals.

Give them enough space to pass and keep moving.

Phew. That was close.

Well, there you have it folks. The last piece of the Dog Bite Prevention puzzle: Human Body Language. If we just pay a little more attention to each other’s signals and respect each other’s space, we’ll be doing our dogs a real solid.

May 16

13 Comments

Stuff Your Dogs Should Wear If…

I like to put stuff on dogs. I try to find real, legit reasons to put stuff on them, but sometimes, I just like to wrap dogs in towels and put their paws in my husband’s Doc Martins. So sue me. One of my favorite stuff-on-a-dog site is Trotterpup. Please enjoy it here.

All silliness aside, there are some really helpful things to put on your dogs.

So, in no particular order, here’s a list of Stuff Your Dog Should Wear If…

They have a lot of energy: Backpack

If your dog is high energy and healthy enough to carry some weight, consider a backpack. Wearing a properly fitted backpack, loaded with a couple of soup cans (and by soup, I might mean beer), will help your uber energetic dog work twice as hard on the same stretch of terrain. That means you don’t have to work any harder, but your dog does. Nifty, eh? If you have one of those never, ever tired pups, the added weight will help them burn more steam and tire them out faster during your regular walks. Make sure to start off slow – introduce the backpack first, then add the weight gradually and top out at 25-30% of their body weight. Backpacks are also helpful: if your dog is calmer when they’re wearing their “working” gear, for turning your dog into a sherpa on hikes, and for carrying around litters of hitchhiking kittens.

They need a confidence boost: Thundershirt

If your dog is afraid of thunderstorms then a Thundershirt makes a lot of sense, no? But these slim-cut tops are also good for helping dogs feel more secure, which makes them helpful for some reactive, anxious, and fearful dogs. So don’t keep the shirt on hold for storms and fireworks, go on and bust it out for daily dog walks too. Thundershirts are also helpful: if your dog needs some help during vet visits, for dogs that need barf bags during car trips, and for creating a svelte silhouette for dogs who are self-conscious about their pooch.

They need skin protection: T-shirt

If your dog sunburns easily, try covering them with a t-shirt (in addition to dog sunscreen) to give them some extra skin protection. Or if your dog has environmental allergies, consider putting them in a t-shirt for their trips outside. When you go back inside, take off their t-shirt and you’re taking off the pollen or whatever else they’re allergic to with the shirt (wipe them down with a damp cloth too). If your dog is really itchy or has a skin infection, try putting them in a t-shirt to protect their skin from their teeth or nails. Healing skin needs air too, so be sure to take it off and let them be nudists on the regular. T-shirts are also helpful for: telling people to back off, covering up big nips on mama dogs, and hiding a bad hair day.

They are your co-pilot: Doggles

If your dog likes to hang their head out of your car window, Doggles will protect their eyes from flying debris. That pretty much sums it up. Doggles are also helpful for: dogs that ride in side cars, dogs that are blind and walk into things (it protect their eyeballs), and for any dog that likes attracting a lot of attention at stop lights.

They are scratching themselves raw: Baby Socks

If your dog has bad allergies and they’re scratching themselves to pieces, try covering their paws with baby socks. Allergies can take a really long time to sort out (both the cause and the solution) and dogs who are itchy will sometimes scratch their skin into ribbons, causing secondary skin infections. Try covering their paws with baby socks (size 0-3 months with sticky tread on the bottom usually works), then secure the socks to their ankles with no-stick vet tape. They’ll still scratch, but their covered nails won’t cause so much damage. Baby Socks are also helpful for: dogs that chew their paws, broken toe nails that are healing, and for dogs that can’t stop reenacting that scene from Risky Business.

They just had surgery: Pro Collars

If you have a dog that is recovering from surgery, the vet may send you home with the plastic e-cone of shame, but most dogs can’t stand them. It messes with their peripheral vision, scrapes against things, and freaks them out in general. Plus, it’s cheap plastic that probably smells and feels yucky. If your dog will need to wear a cone for a bit, like after ACL surgery, buy a Pro Collar. It looks like a hemorrhoid cushion or a neck rest for travelling (are those the same things?) but it works. The best part is that your dogs can still see in every direction, they can pick up toys and food, and it’s comfy for them to rest their heads on while they sleep. For dogs that are afraid of a regular cone, this is much less scary. Pro Collars are also helpful for: dogs that have rashes they shouldn’t be licking, little dogs that squeeze through fences, and dogs with hemorrhoids who need a soft cushion to sit on.

They need to get adopted: Tutu

Peaches the Pit Bull Photo Credit: Keith Kendrick

If you have a foster dog or a shelter dog that isn’t getting a lot of interest from adopters, put a tutu on them and take them out on the town. Ridiculous though it may be, that dog is about to get more attention in one walk than it has in a month of “adopt me” vest outings. Be sure to bring business cards with your dog’s photo and info to hand out to anyone who stops to swoon over your pup. Yes, this is for boy dogs too (who cares about gender? this is about getting attention!). Tutus are also helpful for: dogs in parades, dogs doing humane education work with kids, and dogs that dream of starring in the Black Swan remake.

And that’s not all! There are muzzles, wigs, boots, sweaters, and plenty of other stuff dogs can wear. I already feel a Stuff Dogs Should Wear If (Part 2) coming on…

What stuff does your dog wear? I want to see photos of them wearing their favorite stuff, so post photos over on the DINOS Facebook page for me to squeal at. Please?!

May 15

28 Comments

Meet the Kuzzle

Boogie isn’t a huge fan of going to the vet (we’ll save that story for another day). In order to make vet visits a little less stressful for everyone, I’ve been working on getting Boogie more comfortable wearing a muzzle, just in case he needs it. And while he already tolerates wearing his basket muzzle, I’d like for him to have a more positive association with it.

A few months ago I read about “muzzle-cicles” in Grisha Stewart’s BAT book (she has all kinds of great muzzle related advice – check it out) where she describes filling a basket muzzle with food, freezing it, and using it like a Kong.

I figured Boogie would enjoy sticking his snout into the basket to enjoy some crazy-good snacks and doing so just might help him fall in lust with his muzzle, bearer of frozen delights.

I thought I’d give that a try. Here’s how:

First, wrap the outside of the muzzle in plastic wrap to form a barrier, so the food doesn’t fall out of the sides. I was out of plastic wrap, so I used a piece of wax paper, then covered that in tin foil so I could smush it on there real good (highly technical, no?):

Then I filled it with apple slices at the bottom and a mixture of kibble and wet food. To guild the lily, I spread some peanut butter at the opening. And freeze!

Behold the Kuzzle.

Or maybe it’s a Mong? Either way, you’ve got yourself a frozen Muzzle/Kong type treat:

Boogie was wary of it at first, as he is with all novel objects. He licked the outside of the Kuzzle for a while, keeping his tush in the air, just in case he needed to make a quick escape from this odd duck.

Eventually, he settled down on his bed and enjoyed the Kuzzle in all its glory. After lying down and licking away, he stood back up to get some traction so he could score the last bits of food.

He ate it all, then tried to eat the Kuzzle itself. So my advice is to carefully watch your dogs if you do give this a try. It’s a quick jump from frozen treat to new rubber chew toy.

I’m not sure if this will pay off in the long run, but I’m going to give it a try a few more times in the hopes that Boogie will get all wiggly at the sight of his new favorite treat dispenser.

By the way, Boogie is camera shy, so taking photos of him didn’t exactly help him feel comfortable. Next time, he’ll get to romance the Kuz in private – no paparazzi.

Update: Boogie loves his basket muzzle and wears it happily these days. Huzzah for the Kuzzle!

What about you guys? Anyone do some creative Kuzzling or muzzle tricks at their house?

Looking for muzzles, the BAT book, and more? Check out the Resources on the Dogs In Need of Space website!

May 10

22 Comments

The Never Ending Rainy Day

It’s been raining for, like, a hundred years straight here in Maine (ok, ok two weeks) and I. am. going. crazy.

Between playing ball with Boogie in our mud pit of a back yard, coaxing Birdie to please, pretty please, stop pretending she’s a camel and go to the bathroom already, and all the soggy dog walks I’ve been doing every afternoon, I’ve lost my mind.

And I’ve decided this is my future:

That’s right. I want a Patio Park.

Not only do I want one, but my rain-induced insanity is making me think that buying a van, throwing one of these inside, and offering up a mobile, door-to-door, covered potty break station is exactly what the pet industry needs and I’m the gal to do it.

Right?!

I know that’s bonkers. But I kinda wish I could do that today, this millionth day of rain.

p.s. This actually might be handy for city-DINOS. Or is that the soggy mush in my head talking?

May 9

11 Comments

Be Polite. It Could Save an Epileptic Dog’s Life.

DINOS touches on all kinds of issues, but mostly it’s all about this idea: Some dogs need space, so it would be awesome if everyone had control of their dogs, obeyed leash laws, and always asked permission before allowing themselves or their dogs to approach unfamiliar dogs.

That not-so-complicated idea can be boiled down even further to this really, really simple idea: Please be polite, respectful, and responsible.

Got Boundaries?

Regardless of why a dog may need space (there are so many reasons: health, medical, occupational, and behavioral) the only thing most of us want is the opportunity – the right – to choose whether or not our dogs will interact with other dogs or people.

We’re reasonable about this. We’re upholding our end of the bargain by responsibly managing our dogs and getting out of the way. We know we can’t always control our surroundings and we don’t expect others to go out of their way to avoid us. But it stinks when our ability to choose what’s best for our dogs is taken from us. That happens when someone is breaking the leash law or can’t/won’t control their dogs (on leash or off).

For many of us there are serious consequences when our ability to choose who our dogs interact with is taken away from us.

I recently heard from a reader named Mary:

“I just wanted to thank you for making people aware of this. My dog has epilepsy and while people’s ‘dogs are friendly’ they can kill my dog.

Certain scents cause him to go into cluster seizures that take a dosage of Valium to wake him up. Just smelling the medication put on the back of a dog’s neck used for heart worm/fleas can cause a horrible reaction.

I’m sick of having to run away or protect my 100lb dog from these very hyperactive dogs. If we wanted to encounter off leash dogs, we would simply go to a park. It’s so very frustrating…If people would just ask before approaching and not unleash their dogs to meet us, I would be so happy. It seems so simple right? We all deserve respect.”

Please help me stay healthy. Ask permission before approaching.

This blew me away. Taz is a DINOS because he has epilepsy and he needs space to stay healthy. You would never be able to tell, just by looking at him. But you can help keep him safe just by being polite.

The thing is, Mary purposely walks Taz in areas that have leash laws, but still encounters off leash dogs who run up to her dog and can compromise his health. She’s not going to off-leash areas or dog parks. Mary doesn’t want to ruin anyone’s good time with their dogs.

She just wants to be able to walk her teddy bear of a dog in public, without fear that someone else will break the law and let their uncontrolled dog (friendly though they may be) run up to her dog and possibly cause a reaction that could kill him.

She’s not asking for much, but she’d really appreciate it if we were all polite, respectful, and responsible.

We can do that right? We can obey leash laws, control our dogs, and remember to ask permission before we allow ourselves or our dogs to approach an unfamiliar dog, can’t we? We teach children to ask permission before approaching a strange dog. Why can’t adults do the same?

I think we owe it to each other to do so. In this wacky world, a leash and a few polite words go pretty far in keeping us all safe and comfortable in public places. Accidents happen, of course, but we can at least try to be respectful of one another.

Download on Flickr: http://flic.kr/p/dEKWrH

And it’s not just those of us with DINOS that wish dog owners would be more courteous. Senior citizens, children, and people afraid of dogs – they all have a right to use public spaces without fear of being chased or jumped on by dogs that are out of their owner’s control (on leash or off).

But this blog is about dogs, so back to them.

Taz is a reminder that you may not be able to tell just by looking at a dog if they’re epileptic or recently became blind or if that puppy will be a Seeing Eye dog one day. Or maybe they’re just having a tough day and need space for a few minutes.

When we assume that another dog will be ok if we allow our loose dog to chase after them or we let our leashed dog pull us over to say “hi”, we’re making a judgment call without all the facts. And in doing so we are taking away that other person’s right to choose what’s best for their dogs.

It’s impossible to know what’s going on in someone else’s world just by looking at them and their dogs. That’s why we need to remind dog owners to take responsibility for themselves and their actions all the time, around ALL dogs.

Doing so allows all of us to be part of a community that treats everyone – two and four legged – with respect.

It starts with obeying the law, having control over our dogs, and asking, “Can we meet your dog?”, then listening to the response in case the answer is “Sorry, but no.”

Just good old-fashioned manners. A bit of politeness towards a stranger and you could save a dog’s life.

You can help pass along this reminder with the Ask First poster and handout. Trainers, vets, shelters – these resources are free. Please pass them along to your clients and the public!

(2013 Note: Yes, yellow ribbons are now one way to signal that a dog needs space, but not everyone will understand what it means or be able to see it or stop disregarding leash laws. For long lasting changes, we can focus on educating the public about being respectful and responsible for their actions all the time, around all dogs.)

May 3

42 Comments

How to Score a Dog Bite: The Joggers and Bikers Edition

Hi there. You look really fit. All tan and muscle-y and stuff. Oh, it’s because you’re a jogger. You look like a long distance kind of dude. And you’re a cyclist too? Well aren’t you the picture of health.

What was that? I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. Did you just say you really want to get bit by a dog?

You did. Um, you know that’s crazy right? No one likes dog bites. They kinda hurt. Ok, ok. You really want to get bit, huh?

Well, since you asked…

So You Wanna Get Bit By a Dog: The Joggers and Bikers Edition

If you really want to get bit by a dog while you’re jogging:

Scout out a narrow trail, filled with pedestrians and dog walkers. With no audible warning, sprint up behind a dog, passing it so closely that your personal gust o’ running wind parts their fur.

The surprised dog, startled by a total stranger rushing them from behind, will likely be one of the following: scared, threatened, excited, or spun around and confused.

You’ve increased your chances of getting bit. Well done. If you aren’t too busy bleeding, don’t forget to check over your shoulder. You may not have scored that dog bite you’re bent on getting, but you’ll get a good chuckle at the dog walker who is now struggling to calm her startled dog. Score!

Did you see me scare the crap out of that dog? High five bro!

Not into doing it from behind? Try sprinting at a strange dog head on! When you spy a dog strolling on leash, pick up your pace and run right at the dog. Most dogs will think you’re coming to hurt them, hurt their human, or play with them.

Either way, you’ve got their attention now! Bravo. Look forward to lunging and barking. Fingers crossed for that dog bite you’re obsessed with getting.

Like riding bikes? Why not do it on a crowded sidewalk or walking trail, filled with pedestrians and dogs? There’s nothing that screams, “I want a dog bite!” like speeding past a dog who has no room to escape you and your hot wheels.

For extra points, scream at the dog walker for not getting out of your way. What do they think they’re doing walking on that sidewalk? They should stay out in the road with the cars….where it’s safe!

Obviously, I’m kidding here. Don’t ever do this stuff. Stop it right now.

For real: Can we talk about how crazy it can be negotiating bikes and joggers with our dogs?

They way they charge at our dogs is like some special brand of stupid. They’re just begging for a dog bite.

And I happen to know that they can’t stand us either. I love checking the search terms that people plug in to find my blog. I’ve gotten a bunch of search terms that go something like this: ‘”I hate dogs while I’m jogging” and “I want to run over dog walkers with my bike and then back up and do it again, while ringing my dumb bell.”

Ok, not the second one so much, but I do see the first one a lot – joggers don’t like dealing with our dogs any more than we like dealing with joggers.

If we’re both miserable, why can’t we call it a truce and end this perpetual Fight Club we’re in with each other?

Here’s what I propose:

Joggers: if you see a dog, go wide. Do not run directly into, up to, or past a strange dog. Exit the sidewalk and run in the street. For like 10 feet. Then you can get back on. No biggie. If you’re trapped on the path, slow down and walk. I can hear you guys now: “Walk?! I’m a runner!” Fine.

At the very least, say something clear and understandable from a distance, like “INCOMING JOGGER BOMB ON YOUR LEFT!” or whatever you think will be the best way to alert a dog walker that you are coming up from behind and they need to move over. Please don’t heavy breathe a polite, quiet, “excuse me”, at the exact same time you’re passing us. That doesn’t give us enough time to react. I’m usually thinking about my next snack while I’m dog walking. Please give me enough time to snap out of my cupcake cloud and move over.

That’s all we want, really. The chance to move out of your way. Cuz we like our space.

And if you run with your dog, keep them close to you. Don’t let them run right up to, squeeze by, or surprise strange dogs.

Bikers: Get off the sidewalks. Period. Unless you’re in elementary school, it’s time to suck it up and ride in the streets. It’s just not fair that pedestrians have to contend with bikers on sidewalks. Especially on crowded city streets. This actually has nothing to do with dogs. I’m saying this for all of us: dog walkers, senior citizens, children, people who dislike being run over.

If you think it’s too dangerous to ride in the streets (I feel you on this, by the way – I was terrified to ride my bike in the city), take the subway. And don’t you dare give me lip if I’m in your way and don’t move over fast enough. These aren’t called bikewalks.

The City of Evanston gets it. Those people look really happy.

Dog walkers: We need to behave too. Don’t let your dogs lunge at or jump on joggers and bikers, if you can help it (meaning – you weren’t caught completely off guard). If they’re giving you space, be thankful and control your dogs. Keep your dogs on leash. Retract your flexi leads. At home, contain your dogs in your yards by fence or lead, so that they can’t chase people. Get off the phone and take off the headphones, so you can hear what’s going on around you. Be good, responsible dog owners.

That’s not so bad, is it?

No one wants to get bit. No one wants their dogs to bite someone. Instead of creating the prefect storm for a dog bite: charging and startling an unfamiliar dog, let’s work together to set dogs and humans who like to sweat in public up for success. We can do it – this whole being polite and giving each other space thing – I just know it.

(p.s. I know you guys know this already, but don’t be silly about what you read here. That stuff in the beginning was a joke. You will not hold the author of this blog responsible for any incidents related to the materials published here. www.notesfromadogwalker.com assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.)